Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
