Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
