go do what you do best...puke behind churches
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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