I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
