even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
