Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
