i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize