u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
