This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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