So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
