he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
