he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Do you remember whose house we're in?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
