No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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