So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
