I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
