Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
