we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
