I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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