i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
