i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
