I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
