I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
