yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
