Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
