my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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