my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
