Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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