Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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