its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
