It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
