dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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