This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
