I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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