i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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