Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize