Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
