This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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