I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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