we're blogging at a bar
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
