Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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