he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
