the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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