we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
