yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize