According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
