At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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