please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
