I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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