I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
