She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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