i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
