he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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