did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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