The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
