I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Even my vagina gasped.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize