Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
