i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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