i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
