i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
