Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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